Where do I go from here?

Warning: This might just be the most random post I've written till today.

It's been 21 years. A long 21 years. I've had moments good and bad, joys and sorrows, dreams... fulfilled and procrastinated. Seen times both good and bad. Made friends, lost them, gotten out of touch, back in touch, lost touch...

I really don't know the purpose of this post. Just putting thoughts down as they come to my mind. As you may have read, I'm currently in Bangalore. Bangalore brought it's own share of joys and sorrows. Brought me closer to friends from college, re-discovered the joy of spending time with older friends with whom I had lost touch.

But there's always been this thought at the back of my mind. What do I do now? Where do I go from here? At this point of time, I really envy the people who have a life plan, or who atleast have courage enough to tread unknown ground. As I was discussing with my professors from college about what they would write in my recommendations for application to graduate schools, one of them actually went on to describe my strengths and weaknesses. He called me methodical and said that I was extremely cautious about my approach to problem solving. There was nothing wrong with his observations . However, I realised that this quality was both a boon and a curse. It enabled me to employ the scientific method in all my decisions. However, when there was uncertainty, I would be left in a complete mess.

I have always wanted to be happy and successful like everyone else. However, even after 21 years, I haven't been able to find out what makes me happy and what success is to me. I have always wanted to be anything, but ordinary. But as my life continues, I realise that I'm becoming just another person who did what others do. I seriously do not see the point of pursuing such a monotonous lifestyle. I want to make a difference. To myself, to others.

I used to live life a day at a time, still do. I need to find a goal in life. Looking back joining BITS has given me an opportunity to taste real life while pursuing an internship in my fourth year. It's shown me that I need to take action, and fast. Otherwise it may just be a slide to the melancholy for me. I see no satisfaction living life as I have been living it in Bangalore for the last two months. There's a need for change, a need to achieve something higher in life than just doing what others do day after day, month after month, year after year.

What I've done these 21 years has been a script handwritten by me and executed to perfection with help from everyone who's been associated with me. Now comes the challenge. The script ends here. Time to make a fresh start, a new beginning. So long all!

As a final note, this post made me realise that I had named my blog aptly back when I started writing it in 2007. This post defines the theme of my blog.....

PS: Most of my Saturdays are spent brewing up this sort of crap... Sad really...